I don’t know if this feeling of being exhausted will ever go away. I don’t know a life without it. It’s almost as if I can step out of it with some push, stay there for a bit, but then come crashing back down. That has been…life.
Been going to the gym this week. The first week. Their bike seats hurt my butt lol so I’ve been using the treadmill with an incline which gets my job done – get heart rate up and keep it up, plus, sweat. When I feel ready enough, I will also do the elliptical. That looks way more fun. I’m happy I’ve been able to do 3 out of 4 days. I hope I can keep a minimum of 3 days/week through the next 3 months, before I move to The Big City. That should help a bit with my health, if not weight. I am not expecting much on the weight loss front. My body doesn’t like me. I don’t like it either.
Spending some time recently putting together a list of things I can include into my diet to help my liver (exercise of course is always just one part of the equation). Yes, the liver’s still not okay. And it seems it was not that okay even before surgery. Yet to see a specialist, though. I should, soon.
I don’t like signing in to work anymore, but…it pays well. Sigh.
I wish I had a partner. I want to go to bed at night and cuddle with someone I feel emotionally close to. And then pack them some lunch in the morning as off to the office they go. I want to take care of them, and be taken care of.
Sigh. I don’t want to go on on that train. It’s fine. Let’s stop here.
Claud is non-binary and use they/them pronouns.