I’ve had a rough childhood and even young adulthood.

In my late 20s now, I finally feel like I’m becoming someone; growing as a person. Deep down, I wish things had played out differently. A happy childhood. A well-adjusted young adulthood. And a prime, healthy adulthood now.
In this story line, I imagine I would had friends even today I could talk to because how fundamentally I have changed over the years wouldn’t have alienated them. And being a happy and well-adjusted child would simply make it easier for me to bond in the first place!

She says, “You know
We’d all like to rearrange”

‘Fix You’ by The Offspring.

But it’s just a story line. I’m trying to train myself not to dwell on what-ifs.

The list of my mental health concerns and queer identities call for a full-blown list at this point. Getting “healthy” from whichever of these that need healing/improving from, that… now that is an arduous journey. In one way or another, I have been at it since 2015.

I am proud of how far I’ve come.

But I could really use a restful year, and I’m not sure I’m getting one any time soon.