I have… finally gained clarity on birthdays. The most awful day of the year.

Here’s some guidelines:

• Go away from your usual city. Don’t stay home, essentially. Book a hotel if you must.
• Go to a friend’s, if possible, to hang out. Human contact.
• Attend one or more events. Keep the day busy. Touch some grass. Feel the sun. Feel the wind.
• If you are able to go to a friend’s, get a cake and cut it with just 1 or 2 friends. You don’t need a crowd. You never did.

For your friends:

• Request your friends not to call you. Texting is perfectly fine. Let birthday wishes be in the background. Phone blowing up, if it does, is not a fun experience. No pressure is the right amount of pressure.
• Request your friends to not ask what your plans are. Share it after the fact. No pressure is the right amount of pressure.

If you’re supposed to be at work, take the day off. Don’t really explain why you need the day off, if that can be done.

And you’ll be okay.